Let's really take note

The Primary Love Needs of Women and Men.

Women need to receive :
1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation.
6. Reassurance

Men need to receive :
1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Appreciation
4. Admiration
5. Approval
6. Encouragement

1. She Needs CARING and He Needs TRUST

When a man shows interest in a woman's feelings and heartfelt concern for her well-being, she feels loved and cared for. When he makes her feel special in this caring way, he succeeds in fulfilling her first primary need. Naturally, she begins to trust him more.When she trusts, she becomes more open and receptive.

When a woman's attitude is open and receptive toward a man, he feels trusted. To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his partner. When a woman's reactions reveal a positive belief in her man's abilities and intentions, his first primary love need is fulfilled. Automatically he is more caring and attentive to her feelings and needs.

2. She Needs UNDERSTANDING and He Needs ACCEPTANCE

When a man listens without judgement but with empathy and relatedness to a woman express her feelings, she feels heard and understood. An understanding attitude doesn't presume to already know a person's thoughts or feelings; instead, it gathers meaning from what is heard, and moves toward validating what is being communicated. The more a woman's need to be heard and understood is fulfilled, the easier it is for her to give her man the acceptance he needs.

When a woman lovingly receives a man without trying to change him, he feels accepted. An accepting attitude does not reject but affirms that he is being favorable received. It does not mean the woman believes he is perfect but indicates that she is not trying to improve him, that she trusts him to make his own improvements. When a man feels accepted, it is much easier for him to listen and give her the understanding she needs and deserves.

3. She Needs RESPECT and He Needs APPRECIATION

When a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes, and needs, she feels respected. When his behavior takes into consideration her thoughts and feelings, she is sure to feel respected. Concrete and physical expression of respect, like flowers and remembering anniversaries, are essential to fulfill a woman's third primary love need. When she feels respected it is much easier for her to give her man the appreciation than he deserves.

When a woman acknowledges having received personal benefit and value from a man's efforts and behavior, he feels appreciated. Appreciation is the natural reaction to being supported. When a man is appreciated he knows his effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more. When a man is appreciated he is automatically empowered and motivated to respect his partner more.

4. She Needs DEVOTION and He Needs ADMIRATION

When a man gives priority to a woman's needs and proudly commits himself to supporting and fulfilling her, her fourth primary love need is fulfilled. A woman thrives when she feels adored and special. A man fulfills her need to be loved in this way when he makes her feelings and needs more important than his other interests -- like work, study, and recreation. When a woman feels that she is number one in his life then, quite easily, she admires him.

Just as a woman needs to feel a man's devotion, a man has a primary need to feel a woman's admiration. To admire a man is to regard him with wonder, delight, and pleased approval. A man feels admired when she is happily amazed by his unique characteristics or talents, which may include humor, strength, persistence, integrity, honesty, romance, kindness, love, understanding, and other so-called old-fashioned virtues. When a man feels admired, he feels secure enough to devote himself to his woman and adore her.

5. She Needs VALIDATION and He Needs APPROVAL

When a man does not object to or argue with a woman's feelings and wants but instead accepts and confirms their validity, a woman truly feels loved because her fifth primary needs is fulfilled. A man's validating attitude confirms a woman's right to feel the way she does. ( It is important to remember one can validate her point of view while having a different point of view.) When a man learns how to let a woman know that he has this validating attitude, he is assured of getting the approval that he primarily needs.

Deep inside, every man wants to be his woman's hero or knight in shining armor. The signal that he has passed her tests is her approval. A woman's approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him. ( Remember, giving approval to a man doesn't always mean agreeing with him.) An approving attitude recognizes or looks for the good reasons behind what he does. When he receives the approval he needs, it becomes easier for him to validate her feelings.

6. She Needs REASSURANCE and He Needs ENCOURAGEMENT

When a man repeatedly shows that he cares, understands, respects, validates, and is devoted to his partner, her primary need to be reassured is fulfilled. A reassuring attitude tells a woman that she is continually loved.

A man commonly makes the mistake of thinking that once he has met all of a woman's primary love needs, and she feels happy and secure, that she should know from then on that she is loved. This is not the case. To fulfill her sixth primary love need he must remember to reassure her again and again.

Similarly, a man primarily needs to be encouraged by a woman. A woman's encouraging attitude gives hope and courage to a man by expressing confidence in his abilities and character. When a woman's attitude expresses trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration and approval , it encourages a man to be that he can be. Feeling encouraged motivates him to give her the loving reassurance that she needs.

The best comes out in a man when his six primary love needs are fulfilled. But when a woman doesn't know what he primarily needs and gives a caring love rather than a trusting love, she may unknowingly sabotage their relationship.

The GREATEST LOA ever

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau mengetahui bahawa hati-hati ini telah berkumpul kerana mengasihi-Mu, bertemu untuk mematuhi (perintah)-Mu, bersatu memikul beban dakwah-Mu, hati-hati ini telah mengikat janji setia untuk mendaulat dan menyokong syariat-Mu, maka eratkanlah ya Allah akan ikatannya. Kekalkanlah kemesraan antara hati-hati ini. Tunjukkanlah kepada hati-hati ini akan jalan-Nya (yang sebenar). Penuhkanlah hati ini dengan cahaya Rabbani-Mu yang tidak kunjung malap. Lapangkanlah hati-hati ini dengan limpahan iman / keyakinan dan keindahan tawakkal kepada-Mu. Hidup suburkanlah hati-hati ini dengan makrifat (pengetahuan sebenar) tentang-Mu. (jika Engkau mentakdirkan mati) maka matikanlah pemilik hati-hati ini sebagai para syuhada’ dalam perjuangan agama-Mu. Engkaulah sebaik-baik sandaran dan sebaik-baik penolong. Ya Allah, perkenankanlah permintaan ini…"

Diet Tips - Tell It Like How It Is

So everybody wants to get in shape, great.

First things first, understand that even if you workout in a gym, no matter how hard you train, you will not progress if your diet stink! As a fitness professional, I hear it all of the time,

"I workout hard..but how come there’s no result?” or

“I’m eating twice a day only..completely no carbs..but why isn’t my fat percentage decreasing?"

In the simplest term possible people... IT’S NOT GONNA WORK!

You need to eat the right amount of nutrition to grow and the exact type of training to achieve your goal.

Alright so here’s the deal..

There are three components to constructing a healthy, lean, and a strong body;

- Resistance training

-Moderate cardiovascular activity

-Supportive nutrition

A consistent commitment to all three components will, over time, produce nothing less than spectacular results. That said, lets cut through all of the hype and discuss what I mean by "supportive nutrition”.

1. ELIMINATE Excess Fats, Salt And Sugar From Your Diet Immediately!!!

-This includes all soft drinks, cookies, chips and deep fried foods. These foods have no nutritional value. After a couple of weeks, you won't want them anymore anyway.

> can we agree on NO soft drinks, cookies, chips and deep fried foods. hmmm...what does deep fried food mean anyway? does that include KFC and McD? anything we can include and exclude in this category?

>> (put your comments here)

well..no soft drinks is doable..bu tcookies,chips and all that..that sounds so drastic..read a book about not totally eliminating food that is in the no-no category..but to take it it just to have a taste..of course we gotta burn the calories taken back lorr..deep fried food..litterally is deep dried food..all the goreng2..yup kfc n mcd included..tu yang kite prefer ke nando''s..kenny rogers..if i wanna have chicken la..coz it's roasted..no oil used..

>>> CONCLUSION :

2. EAT YOUR BREAKFIRST!

-Breakfast should include complex carbohydrates and clean protein. Essentially, complex carbs provide energy and the protein ensures that the body has material readily available for rebuilding tissues. A good combination here is a bowl of oatmeal, eggs, grapefruit and a cup of coffee.

> what shall we have for BREAKFAST? oatmeal, eggs, coffee? can we say NO to roti canai, nasi lemak, mi goreng, sliced bread? jam and butter? I can go with tea or coffee, maybe we can start having green tea? or sugarless tea? coffee sure does sounds good :P

>> well..lama dah kite tak makan fritatta..lelur dadar campur mushroom with all the veges like carrort,celery,multi colour pepper...n topped with low fat cheese..mmm...nyam2..i'd prefer mine pedas with cili padi sket as the bahan tumis heheh..

hmm..oatmeal mak kite letak sus pekat..that's how i know how to cook like la..

i believe as long as we make working out a daily routine..we can still enjoy food like nasi lemak..this say..when we have achieved our target rigure la kan...;) well i drink detox tea now and then...i can get used to drinking green tea..with lime for extra flavour :)

>>> CONCLUSION : list of choices : coffee/tea, eggs, oatmeal...

3. PROTEINS AND CARBS INTAKE

-This one requires some planning. The "meals" referred to consist of a protein, complex carbohydrate, and a fibrous carbohydrate. Some good combinations include:

-Chicken/Brown rice/Broccoli

-Tuna/Medium baked potato/Green beans

-Lean cuts of beef (once a week)/Sweet potato/Salad

-Salmon/Quinoa/Asparagus

> I am more into 'No Meat' approach. more to vegs and fishes. shall we have brown rice rather than white rice at home?

I can do with tuna/potato/green beans. or sweet potato/salad. hmmm...chicken/rice/broccoli...maybe we can replace chicken with something else, or have chicken/meat ONCE a week. Nope, can't afford it...why? coz we may eating out with friends and may have little choice on the menu. I'd rather save my chicken/meat for 'emergency ocassion'. alright, what is quinoa?

>>

i love chicken..in fact it's sometimes cheaper when buying one whole chicken...n last about a week or more for us..(eh nak bergerak dah..c ya muah muah muah)

>>>

4. EAT TO GROW! (Smaller portion meals frequently)

-This also requires some planning. Eating every three to four hours keeps the blood sugar/insulin levels stable throughout the day, controls cravings, prevents binging, reduces fat storage and keeps the metabolism burning hot.

Here’s the thing, eating frequently makes you burn more calories. On the contrary, missing meals immediately slows the metabolism, triggers the body's starvation response and ultimately, you won’t burn any fat.

So for those of you who consume few calories and perform cardio until they drop and see very little to absolutely no results? A slowed metabolism. That's your answer.

Frequent eating combined with the right food choices will super-charge the metabolism and turn your body into a virtual fat incinerator!

> I agree :D we need some serious planning then, on how to do this...

>>

>>>

5. NO SIMPLE CARBS!!!!

-Simple carbohydrates are those found in refined sugar, honey and fruit juice. This type of sugar will provide quick energy but will also let you down just as quickly.

Sugar significantly disrupts proper insulin metabolism ultimately causing fatigue and promoting fat storage. This cycle is not something that you want to encourage. The bulk of your carbohydrate consumption should come from slowly digesting complex carbohydrates such as:

· Oats · Brown rice · Wild rice · Barley

· Whole wheat · Whole grain · Sweet potatoes

> guess we need to build a 'Great List' of 'Our Foods', so we won't be digging our own grave with our teeth. hmmm...'Our Foods' and 'NOT Our Foods', hows that sounds?

>>

>>>

6. Taper Your Calories.

-Breakfast should be your largest meal and dinner your smallest.

Because you are essentially fasting while you sleep, it is unlikely that your body will store the early morning meal as fat. Conversely, in the evening, the metabolism naturally slows down and is at its absolute slowest when you are asleep. Accordingly, the body is much more likely to store the calories consumed in a substantial dinner as fat.

The general rule here is to eat breakfast early enough so that you can get in all of your required meals with your final meal consumed two to three hours before you go to sleep. Does this require some serious commitment and dedication? HELL YES!

> Hell Yes!

>>

>>>

7. Shift Complex Carbohydrates.

-Depending on your own personal schedule, an effective technique and excellent way to taper your calories is to consume all complex carbohydrates before 4:00 in the afternoon. The meals that you consume after this hour should consist of clean protein.

> Right! No heavy meal after Asar is a good start. I will learn how to prepare soup for our supper /dinner :D

>>

>>>

8. EAT DIETARY FAT!

-Understand that fat does not make you fat.

-On the contrary, consuming the proper amount of fat increases metabolic rate and actually helps burn fat. We need dietary fat for proper hormone production, joint health, cell membrane integrity and healthy skin, hair and nails. Some good sources of dietary fat include:

-Olive oil -Salmon -Trout -Nuts

-Flax seeds -Avocados -Natural peanut butter

> I guess we have no problem with this. Just need to be careful not to consume other source of fat.

>>

>>>

9. Drink Plenty Of Fresh Water.

-Water is the most abundant nutrient in the body and is involved in every single physiological process. Approximately 60-70% of your body is comprised of water. Water helps eliminate waste and toxins, regulates the body's temperature, transports nutrients, helps muscle tone, reduces sodium buildup, relieves fluid retention and helps metabolize fat. In fact, water is essential to the fat burning process. So, flood your body with fresh water throughout the day.

> we seriously need to drink a lot :D >> yeah I agree my dear :D:D

>>

>>> CONCLUSION : yes sir, we anonimously agree to drink more water, sir!

Conclusion

Follow these simple rules and in time you will undoubtedly succeed. Understand that there is nothing fast, easy, effortless or overnight about long-term fat loss. Anything in life that’s worth having takes time. At the end of the day, it comes down to making a commitment to a particular lifestyle and learning to embrace an entirely new way of life. Begin by making small changes to your diet. Nothing extreme. The body reacts drastically to drastic change. Start slowly. Always remember that slow motion is better than no motion!

Hope this helps, good luck and GO HARD!!